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Bending spoons with my mind

Alone for the day. Thinking a bit about this time 3 years ago as I catch up on sewing.

Dillon told Natalia that he still just wants to show me that there are good guys out there. And then I thought, "Doesn't he want more for me than that, at this point?"

At least Natalia didn't tell me to break up with him. I mean, if nothing else, that proves that she thinks we're a good couple. Or she's trying to turn a new leaf, since several couples she's advised to break up actually recently have.

This whole sales tax increase is actually pushing costs past my threshold. I'm slightly averse to spending right now. I. Me. I'm frugal, but that's never stopped me from spending altogether. Neither will this... I just have to get used to it. Right?

I almost wish I were going today. I think I'm not in the right frame of mind, though, to be in San Diego, but to be trapped somewhere else. Not trapped, but that's how I'd feel. That's why I'm not going. This anxiety is not going to be assuaged anytime soon.

But a day alone will likely change nothing. I will sew, work on my stats homework, read, put away our luggage, play Animal Crossing, and sporadically check Facebook. Then I will either go see Natalia or Emily and completely avoid my darker thoughts, whom I should instead pay a visit today.

My mom read my CNS abstract and couldn't believe I had written it. I entirely believe that academia is systematically making me a bad writer.

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May 2010
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